Love is a fascinating thing. Love is all its forms, sibling love, love for family, older and younger, romantic love, friendship love. Like goldfish in a bowl, we are not alone nor do we act in a vacuum. We are influenced all the time by the people we spend time with. What’s interesting is how often we do not choose the people who will become a significant part of our lives, we are thrown together by circumstance. So it was interesting to read this article on friendship, and how to be selective as we get older, while also nurturing the ones we have.
We all long for connection, and “love” is a good word to encompass all that. I’ve now had some friends for 10-20 years, and it is great to still have these friends in my life. As a working adult, many of my friends have come into my life because of the job choices I’ve made–so I didn’t specifically choose them. Over time we got more comfortable with each other (oh, and giving each other shit). But it’s easy to be with them. It’s easy to pass the traffic test with them. I can come over with my hair in an untidy hair clip and shapeless sweater and we still have fun, even if we are doing nothing.
I have been feeling a bit lonely lately, and I know what that means. I need to work on my friendships and get out more. I love dating, and it can be many things. It can be dating for fun, dating for sex, dating for an activity partner – but dating for love takes time and patience. It can take time to find the right match, but fortune favors the brave. After all, you can’t change people, you can only either accept what they have to offer or move on. In the reverse, what you have to offer may not be what they’re looking for either. And in the meantime, I don’t want to ignore the great things I already have in my life. I know me and my lustful feelings when I smell an attractive man. Sometimes it’s just annoying that though I’m not going to be having any more kids, damn pheromones are going all crazy. Yes, yes, stupid ovaries, I know you think we’d make good babies, but I am done with that. Genetic compatibility of offspring is not a main goal of mine. Making rational decisions while feeling less than rational can be a challenge some days. 🙂
My goal for 2015 is to concentrate on that connection; true friendship, with a romantic element. What I am looking for is the man that smells good, laid-back, and easy to be around. A person whose presence brings out the best in me, and I in him. An easiness of good-nature, fun, and respect. I think this will be a good year for it.