Today I got my new Asus Transformer tablet in the post. I had been eyeing an iPad since they came out but had been putting it off. Now, with the transition, I don’t want to purchase a new computer until I actually get settled into the new space. But, as it is simply not possible for me to live even ONE day* without a computer, I needed a stopgap. I have to say, my colleague, Hugh, is good at being a saleperson. I had asked him why he went with that tablet and he said he liked being able to use it with an SD card and connect it directly to his PC and easily trade files in an out. And it does everything the iPad does at a much cheaper price. Sold!
However, I did get some grief from L. when the package arrived at the house. “Why are you buying that?” he asked. “Whose money did you use? And why is it that you’re not worried about money at all, and I’m watching every penny?” I got pretty annoyed. I said something to the effect that I paid for it out of my own account and though yes, I needed to be careful with money, I was leaving two computers for him because he had wanted both–and I certainly wasn’t going to go to the new place without anything.
“Well, why can’t you use your work computer?” I explained that I didn’t want Rowan downloading all sorts of internet games on my work computer. Then I also told him that I couldn’t download lesbo porn on corporate property. That reasoning seemed to perfectly sufficient for him and he let it drop after that. 😉
I found myself somewhat angry at having to defend my actions. A little later, I told him I get annoyed when I feel like he’s being kind of rude. “Rude?” he said. “I was just joking.”
Let it be noted in the record that I hate the term “I was just joking.” I have found it to be such a cop-out to be mean or rude but not owe up to it–because now hey, it’s the other person’s problem with their attitude. In the past, I have told myself, Let it drop. It’s not worth it. But I remembered that I am trying to change the way we’ve always interacted with each other.
So, a bit later I told him, “Hey, just so you know, I’m a bit sensitive about this. Because I am doing my best to be transparent and fair (with splitting up our assets) and I could have just taken one of your computers. So please don’t give me grief when I buy my own.” And then we talked about it and some other money stuff we have to discuss and it all got cleared up.
It was a little thing, but I’m trying to be really conscious about talking more about (gah, I hate to even say it) my feelings. Because I need the practice. 🙂 And also, I want to change the way we’ve always done things, our history, to something better and a bit more mature.
*Note that I am half-joking and half-deadly serious.