Rewriting the Script

My parents are coming in on Thursday. . . da da boom.  There was actually some question whether they were, my dad did something to his leg and is having trouble walking.  But as much as I tend to gripe about their visits, it’s a lot easier to do it this way than to haul our two children to their un-childproofed, toyless house in New England.  Not to mention the cost of four airline tickets these days.

So they will be here.  Thursday.  And we’ll see how it goes because there were a couple of cool events happening this weekend that I’d like to go to.  Is it rude to do stuff when you have visitors around?  I’d bring them along, but if Dad doesn’t want to be in the car. . .well, we’ll see.

My mom sounded drawn out.  I bet my Dad has been a real beast, especially as it’s been going on for a month.  And as much as I try to pride myself on personal growth and all, when they come, internally I heave a big *sigh*.  Here we go again.  This time, I want to rewrite the script.

Nope, they are not a lot of fun.  They’re not bad, just kind of a downer.  So yeah, I get why they like to visit–well, certainly why my Mom does.  After all, I do the cooking, instead of her.  I do the washing up.  But even more than that, I know I am lucky.  I have a great family.  I enjoy coming home to my family, to my kids.  Here there is light and laughter and love, and I can say that without being cheesy.  We play and tickle and hug each other.  It’s great.  And Mom and Dad–they are only human.  I get my Mom, at least on most levels.  I don’t get my Dad–except for the God part, I don’t really know what he is thinking.  He is always so stern, unsmiling.  I don’t really know how much he misses us, if he does at all, because he keeps the evidence of those feelings inside.

But regardless of what I think I know, what I can do is try to make my Mom’s life a little easier for a few days.  And I can make some great meals, so they won’t miss the restaurants too much.  And I can practice my listening and open-ended questions on them.  So that’s my plan.  I’m going to cut down the whining (though frankly Leif and I will probably be rolling our eyes at least once) and look at the bright side.  Because that is the person I choose to be.

I Survived a 7-year old’s Slumber Party

Rowan’s official birthday party was yesterday.  She got to invite four other 7-year-olds.  I made ramen and cut up big strawberries and carrots.  Oh yes, I made chicken kabobs but none of the girls wanted them.  Apparently, the ramen was too delicious.  Then we tied-dyed shirts.  We’ll see how they come out, they are ideally supposed to sit for 24 hrs, but I bought a cotton/poly blend instead of 100% poly.  They may be a bit on the pastel side.  And then the girls watched a movie.

I have heard it is is worse with boys, as they can be more rambunctious.  But there were lots of fart jokes, butt smacking, and wild giggling.  Not to mention that they commandeered the box of rubber gloves to tie each other hand’s behind their backs.  They were playing some game that had an evil giant that had them prisoner or somesuch thing.  Let us just say that it was a great 9:00 am when the parents came to take them away.  🙂  Naw, I would let Rowan do it again, but I will need a breather.

This afternoon Rowan had Girl Scouts (Daisies) so I have had a blissful couple of hours watching some adult tv (Sex and the City) and having a big cup of tea.  And playing with Nova, today she is extra lovable.  It was so warm I put her in a little skirt and those chunky thighs–I just want to smoosh them!  She was super giggly and playful.  Luckily too, in the past few weeks she has actually begun to enjoy baths so they have become a bit more leisurely.  For the past few months, baths have been more of a shower thing, as she would just scream.

The other great thing about this day is just opening the windows and letting that great breeze in.  I am so ready for Spring!

Does Everyone Have to Get Older?

Yesterday we went over to my mother-in-law’s house and spent the night.  We’ve been wanting to spend some more time with her since my father-in-law passed away last fall.  Plus, it’s always good to get Nova used to sleeping somewhere else.

Leif was feeling a bit sad as with spring coming, the garden is going to be neglected with Don not around.  Plus, it’s his childhood home.  He has decades of memories, and his baby daughter may be bee-bopping around, but her grandpapa isn’t around to see her anymore.

Nova is getting better at sleeping through the night, but we forgot the pack ‘n play, partly because there’s a crib at the house.  But we found out that the crib can’t come out of the storage room without being disassembled, and in any case, a wheel broke off so it’s crooked.  Grandma found a pad, so we put it on the floor, but during the night I kept waking up afraid Nova was going to get up and walk out into the hallway.  That turned out to be a needless concern, but she did manage to find a loose cord and get her arm and neck wrapped up in it.  Yeah, not good.  That was the end of that and we brought her into bed.  And now I know why there’s a million warnings on any sort of cords–kids really can strangle themselves that easily.  Ugh.

My mother-in-law is holding her own, but she has sciata, so her legs have been bothering her.  I’m going to have to start looking for babysitters around here, I think.  And I called my parents (they’re due to visit later in the month) and they may have to cancel, as my dad strained some muscle in his back and his legs are now hurting him.  I guess we’ll just wait and see.

Oh, and yes, I started reading GTD.  Apparently I need to buy a labeler for all the file folders I will be labeling.  Exciting stuff, this.

 

 

Weaned

Whoa, I can’t believe it’s April already.  Where did the time go?  Well, March sort of crashed and burned, what with two business trips, a week of sickness, science fair, and the end of sales class that required a presentation in front of not only my class, but my boss and assorted supervisors (of the other participants.  And with Spring coming, I feel like I need to turn over a new leaf.

I did officially wean Nova.  I hadn’t pumped since before Christmas, but I was still doing comfort nursing here and there, and then my 3-day trip to Florida sort of ended that.  No longer will I have those little hands on me. . .but then again, those last few times it didn’t feel like there was anything left in there.  Not to mention all those teeth, I think she had close to 10 now, including some molars.  So now I have to get serious with being better with my diet and exercise, because my magic weight loss card is over now.  And I’ve gotta to tell you, I like this me.   I am in the extremely enviable position of having to buy new clothes, because my clothes, my underwear, my bras, and even my bikini no longer fit.  I’ve had to do some serious investments in belts to get by.  It’s pretty crazy.  (Of course, I think some of this weight loss is also due to the incredible stress of my job–stress that is mostly self-inflicted)

But while the outside of me looks good, the inside–not looking so good.  At least it’s not postpartum depression, nothing that bad this time.  But this constant anxiety and distractedness and a feeling of being overwhelmed all the time–there is so much to do and I don’t even know where to begin.  And I’m sick of it.  Really, truly sick of it.

It’s funny, because when Rowan was about this age, the cracks in my marriage really started showing.  It was a hard time and there were nasty fights and I wondered if we’d make it–but looking back I realized the situation of having a small child simply brought to light things that weren’t truly working.  She didn’t break anything, it’s just all the new responsibilities showed that we had some issues to work out.

This time around, it’s not even Nova no much but this new job.  My new job that I’ve been in for eight months, and it’s showing the cracks in me.  I don’t like the fact that I haven’t been exercising. . . or practicing. . .  or doing yoga . . . and forget meditation.  I don’t like the fact that I eat crap and drink soda, coffee, and booze.  I don’t write, I don’t draw, I don’t paint.  And the house is a perpetual mess–something I could forgive if I was spending my time on better things–but I’m not!

So you know me, better living through books.  I broke out my copy of Getting Things Done, the productivity classic.  I need to start somewhere.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and I don’t know much about my destiny, but I know it’s to the path of a different drummer.  And I can’t hear it, because my head is a jumble. This has been a long standing weakness of mine, but I need to attack it.  There is a lot of stuff I need to do in the life before I die, and I can’t do it with continuous garbage in my head.

So I may be posting about boring productivity stuff.  My apologies.