Grrr. . . argh. . . bleh

Well, at least I’ll get one post out by January.  The only reason I’m getting this one out is because I am home sick with Rowan.  Yes, I was awakened at 1:00 am by the dulcet tones of “Mom! Mom!  MOMMM!” to find she had barfed all over the room.  Ugh.  And this was coming on the tail of a dream I was having where (I kid you not) I had to fight a giant evil clown rocking horse by removing its stuffing, at which point it turned into a giant evil clown puppet, trying to stomp me.

So I cleaned up her room, went back to bed.  She called me back at 2:30 am, she had thrown up again.  I cleaned that up, went back to bed.  She didn’t call me again, but in the morning she told me, “I threw up just a tiny bit on the towels again, but I didn’t want to wake you again.”  She’s a sweet girl, even when sick.

So anyway, yes, January.  Leif got a new job, his old boss died (succumbed to cancer).  We went to the funeral, it was open casket.  Weird.  I also had a dream about raising him from the dead.  Zombies, killer clowns, I don’t know what angst my mind needs to get rid of here.   I don’t know what my problem is, things are going pretty well.  Just lots of little aggravations.

I think the problem is that I would like a vacation.  Just some time off.  I feel like I don’t have any time for self-reflection.  I don’t know how all the moms out there do it, and don’t seem to complain.  Life, modern life, just seems overwhelming at times.  The appointments, the bills, the scheduling–it’s like, somebody else take over.  But there is no one to take over.  And I am very, very happy that the job situations have worked out for both me and Leif–but now we are both starting off with less time off and now–even a simple sick day I’m calculating how much do I have left?  Somebody always needs something from me, it seems.  So I should be happy, but am often annoyed.

Oh yeah, and my email account got hacked and I had to shut it down.  And my home refinancing has, due to unforeseen circumstances, cut off our one credit card.  That’s why I’m annoyed!

Author: ~R

I write about life, people, and the things that interest in me. Which often includes death, sex, friendship, and the future of humanity. I hope for the best in people and I prepare for the worst. But no matter what happens, change is constant and everything will be ok.

One thought on “Grrr. . . argh. . . bleh”

  1. Honestly – I think we just don’t have time to complain. I’ve told my husband a couple of times now in the past few months that I want to take 6 months off work just to catch up. On everything! Print pictures and fill albums (which I haven’t touched in 2 years), clean the clutter on my desk that just never seems to go away, projects I’d like to do but simply don’t have time, baby clothes to sort and store for my sister, non-baby clothes to sort so I know what I need to buy for Beth and Alex (this one will become critical in the next few months and will have to be done). You name it, I probably still have to do it. If it’s not critical and must be done today, it doesn’t get done.

    Hang in there. Hopefully when the little ones get a little older, it will get easier to steal a few moments for ourselves. In the meantime, I try to enjoy Beth’s toddler days before they’re gone and suddenly I find myself faced with another 5 year old pre-schooler who doesn’t need me so much!

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