This past weekend I had a lot of fun. Old friends came down to New Glarus to audition for my sister-in-law’s movie and we got to see them for awhile. I’ve been finding that this year I am attracting old and new friends back into my life. Rebecca and Kenton are very upbeat, centered kind of people, and Rebecca was the one who inspired me to take up bellydancing three years ago. It was really nice to reconnect. 🙂 We went to Albion to take a tour with them and see Lars’ projects.
I do have to say that it is pretty remarkable that Leif’s family is so creative. One of his brothers owns a wedding videography business, his sister owns a sword company, and Lars has become a fairly talented armorer. And of course, Leif makes teeth! 🙂 (And then there’s that whole music thing, too. . . )
Afterwards, Leif, Rowan, and I stopped at a small park and absorbed sunshine for awhile. It felt so good to hear the sun and wind again. We walked for a long time and stopped at a stream, where Rowan dipped her hands in and felt the current.
And then, I went out later that night to Marlene’s house for a raucous night of Twilight and wine. That is the kind of movie to watch with a bunch of women and play a running commentary. Marlene has an Italian winemaker friend that sends her cases of wine–I have not had that kind of great wine in awhile. It is the kind you just want to eat. I stayed out late and had a great time.
I feel like Spring has come at last. I’m ready to let go of all the weight I’ve been dragging around. I’m ready to get my shit together. I wish I could be stronger when things are hard, but I willing to work on that. Having good friends helps with that.
The problem with a blog is how truthful and how open do you be? Especially if your life is full of ups and downs, which ones do you document? For me, each day has been different, and I still don’t know which direction I’m heading in, but I’d like to think up.
The job thing–well, it came to a head a week ago. I went in prepared to hand in my resignation, assuming that would be the best all around. After all, I certainly didn’t want to be escorted off campus. We had a lot of discussions, after which we decided to work it out. So I am still at my job. However, in a month I now have another mini review, so I’m not really in the free and clear either.
I wish I could let this all go and be in the past, but while it lingers on, it still has a hold on me. Why am I staying? Because honestly, I don’t want to leave it like this, and if there’s a chance to repair the damage, I would like to. I like the work–technical writing is a good fit for me. So I’m giving it my all this month–and if that doesn’t work, well then I know it’s not a good fit.
And while I’ve been working on my work situation, I am also practicing for a Hafla in May. That’s an informal performance for bellydancers and their friends. Knowing you’re going to perform definitely sharpens the skills. It’s fun but tiring.
I really appreciate all the kind words from friends lately. It’s meant a lot to me.
It has been a little crazy around here, and frankly I’ve been up and down about a situation that will soon be resolved. Let’s just say my ego has been through the shredder. But spring and change are coming, and the end to this difficult situation will soon be here. I can’t wait!
I have had a lot of sychronicities and pings coming back, letting me know I’m on the right track. But it’s been hard. I’ve been yanked through a door, blundering around in the dark, but every time I get low something comes along to cheer me up: an email from a friend, a timely article, even some recurring numbers (which may sound a bit too New Age, but it works for me). And though it’s been tough, both my husband and I are in proximity to a very sad situation of one of our acquaintances, which shows me how much worse it could be.
I was thinking the other day, If I were someone else that wanted to help me, what would help the most? The thing that has helped me the most is encouragement, faith, and confidence that it will all turn out all right. So to all my friends, and to my husband and daughter especially, thank you so much in the past few weeks for all your words of encouragement. I have been needy and insecure, and I am grateful for the wonderful people that are part of my life.
And if you, who is reading this now, feels sad, uncertain, anxious, and afraid, I just want to say it will get better. It’s been a hard winter and sometimes our personal life lessons are tough–but things change. Winter changes to spring, snow melts, the sun comes back. Though sometimes life seems pointless and empty, there is so much more. Turn off the t.v., put down the fantasy novel, and stop eating crap–then feel a moment of silent peace grow within your heart. If you’re afraid of what will come up if you don’t keep occupying your mind, believe that you can work through it. I know you can. We all are capable of great things, you and I. And we are all together on this earth.
Today was the first meeting of our mastermind group. I had been inspired by some posts on Erin Pavlina’s site and decided to form one of my own. I guess typical Mastermind Groups are often set up by entrepreneurs in order to grow their business–my focus is to lead a better life. It is so easy to get caught up in the minutiae of life that we lose the big picture–until we get dropped on our ass.
Well, I got dropped on my ass last summer and the beta dropping on the ass came a few weeks ago. And the irony is that I have been anxious for months, “What should I be doing, should I be doing this or this or this?” There’s a quote by Teddy Roosevelt, “In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.” So now I am doing things, and we’ll see where my little adventures lead.
I invited some ladies over and we started with a gratitude exercise, and then did a little rate your life activity. And after that we formed some intentions and set some goals for the next month. I think it went pretty well. I would like us to grow as people and work through the blockages in our life. So here’s to a better vibration! 🙂