The Year of 4

You know, one thing that changed in me in the last year is that now I keep secrets.  I’m not talking confidences, where a friend trusts me not to say anything, but a feeling of not wanting to quite bare it all anymore.  It’s not that I care more exactly, it’s just that there is so much going on in my head and I would like to see some actual progress before sharing.  It’s a strange feeling for me, I always used to want to have people know me, all of me.

This year is going to be challenging for me.  A lot of what I want to accomplish is going to require me to grow up some more.  But I’ve seen a glimpse of what could be, and I’m excited about that.  Isn’t it funny the excuses we make to not change?  It’s as though it is just so painful that we aren’t good enough in the present moment–and yet that’s not it all.

I feel like I’ve lived a lot of my life in potentialities–now I want realities.  So we will see how much progress I can make in a year.  🙂