So I’ve been doing well overall, but the past week I’ve been pretty emotional. In fact, in talking with my boss I have decided to decline being a supervisor for now. It’s not that the job has changed, it’s that I’ve changed. And I’m have a crisis of career right now. I’m not sure this is what I want or where I want to be. I’m not sure I could grow in a meaningful way at the company I’m at now. There are challenges, sure, but it still seems like a lot of bullshit to me. How exactly am I helping anyone, anyone at all at this point? I don’t want to waste my life doing something that does not contribute to society. This is important to me.
God, all my life is so imperfect, so far from where I want it to be. And changing one’s self is an arduous job.