Most days, I’m a pretty happy girl. Sometimes I’m pretty shallow, sometimes I’m not. Today was kind of a crappy day at work. Stress, too much to do or too much to do well. I was kind of grumpy.
And then you read things like this in the NYTimes and it’s just so sad and such a waste. It’s completely sick, and not just for us. Because we left our women and children behind, to go to our soccer games in our SUVs, complaining about the cost of gas. All these people who die are someone one else’s child, or sibling, or parent.
Leif and I were talking about reincarnation the other day. He’s read a fair amount of Vedic philosophy and he was saying there is something in the Hindu texts about keeping your promises, even across time. That whoever you meet, there may be a promise attached to that person, because that person may have been your brother, your child, your father.
He was talking about his love for Rowan and how he will always love her, not just in this life, but in whatever life comes next, across whatever relationships they meet in again. And I look into those brown eyes and I sometimes wonder, Do I remember you?
The whole premise with reincarnation of course is that you eventually learn from your various lives and you wake up–you free yourself from the endless cycles of life and death. And when you do that, you become a Buddha, free from the illusion. And then, you don’t have to come back, though some do to help others along in their paths.
I told Leif, “Well, I’m not ready to move beyond this yet. If I die, I’m coming back. I’m not done.” So no buddhahood for me.
But I do believe in my own version of Gaia, that we are all one here. So when people are being blown to bits, it’s our mass illusion causing that. We feel like we are all each so separate, so different, so alone. And that is the lie, because we are none of those. We are all one of this entity, of this beloved planet, blundering around in own sad fears and small joys. I wish we would all wake up.