Wow

So Christmas has come and gone now, and the New Year is upon us. (It was a really great Christmas by the way) As always, I have been feeling that slump. A little guilty that I used all my Christmas money on shopping, and a little guilty about how much I enjoyed it. 😉 And then, when it’s all over, you wake up and here it is a new year with no vacations ahead for awhile. Just slip back into your regular life.

Well, like many people I do take stock of my past year and see what I did.  I made a list of what I accomplished, and it was pretty long, so I won’t bore you with it here.  But for all the stuff I did do, it felt like it was just another year.  There are still things about myself that bother me–sometimes a lot.  Am I just going to make the same resolutions I made last year?  My life always seems to be a 7, better than average (whatever that’s supposed to be) but never even close to a 10.  Or maybe, rather, it seems too close to a 10 so why put a lot of effort into bumping it up a notch.

And then I found a site,  StevePavlina.com.  I would say that it’s going to change my life, but it already has.  It’s like when I discovered Alan Watts, what he says resonates with my soul.

So I’m on Day 5 of getting up at 6:00 am, every day, even if it a weekend.  This may not seem like a lot, but for some reason, it had been really hard for me to do.  I am also currently working on my new blog.  It won’t replace this one, it will be a beauty blog, ‘cos you know what?  I really like makeup.

I don’t know how much I want to go into this right now, because it seems kind of hokey.   I’ve been looking for something for a long time, I guess looking for a way to be.  Some of Steve’s stuff seems a bit out there, honestly it was starting to make my head spin.  But it has been a long time since I felt that kind of spiritual slap in the face, a long time since I’ve been really challenged to think a different way.  I have been feeling vulnerable lately, with thoughts like, “How can I expect anyone to believe in me when I myself do not?” or “Why can’t I have just one person who will love me, really love me?”  Well, whatever I perceive, it’s time to make a change, make a change in me.  I feel such a sense of hope, it’s . . . wonderful.

Author: ~R

I write about life, people, and the things that interest in me. Which often includes death, sex, friendship, and the future of humanity. I hope for the best in people and I prepare for the worst. But no matter what happens, change is constant and everything will be ok.

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